So, you moved out to Portland and got all hipster, started wearing skinny jeans and plaid shirts. Hanging out at vintage clothing stores and local coffee shops or going to the independent theater production. That’s fine as long as we don’t define ourselves by labels made up by the biased conservative money hungry media giants. They can all go conform to their cookie cutter Beverly hills white picket fence career lifestyles while wearing trendy blouses made by slave kids in sweatshops, no one is judging.
This holiday season while all your premofasho-subculture friends host the same old Christmas party as last year, you can be unconventional and have a hipster Hanukkah party, before it becomes the cool thing to do. Here are 5 products on The Web that will make your Hanukkah hella-fun.
#1: Ugly Hanukkah Sweater
Because you can’t have a holiday bash without this ugly sweater. Sourced by your local The Web delivery broham. Before this sweater becomes mainstream make sure to snap it up or put it on tumblr. Put on “Sweater weather” by The Neighborhood and dance your ugly sweater off. Yes, I know we all liked their first EP but after that it was never the same.
#2: Craft Beer Scented Candles
“David Lee Roth lights the menorah…” 8 scents available for all 8 craazy nights. Bring the local pub into your home with these fresh IPA scents, and none of the scents are Pabst so don’t email me to ask. All wicks are made from natural locally sourced ingredients and burn for 60 hours. And since its totally hip to give back, for every candle sold a portion goes to Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.
#3: Krispy Kreme Jelly Bean Gift Box
Leave the jelly doughnuts at the store for all those corporate hogs to choke on. You are going to have a healthy alternative at your hipster Hanukkah. No, I’m not talking about moo shu or boba iced tea. These are melt in your mouth Jelly Bean doughnuts! The perfect alternative for all your health-conscious friends who refuse to step into a McDonalds just to use the restroom. Plus, all Jelly Beans are also gluten free, peanut free, dairy free, fat free, vegetarian friendly, OU Kosher Certified and made in the USA. So, most of your friends will enjoy while your raw vegan friends can just watch you eat it.
#4: Nitrous Oxide Powered Wine Opener
Because there is no party without wine. Show them how early of an adopter you are by popping open a bottle with this new gadget. This gadget provides a clean crisp open every time so you don’t have to embarrass yourself in front of that hot non-gender binary person you so badly want to hook up with. Plus, it doesn’t use any electricity so your super kosher buddies will be happy to use it too.
#5: 3Doodler 3D Printing Pen
Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel I made you out of 3D plastic… Get creative with this 3D printing pen and make your own custom dreidel. You can’t get more hip than a 3D dreidel making contest. And when you get bored of making dreidels switch to buddy holly frames, that’s the best way to get first dibs on a product-MAKE IT!
All of these products and more can be found on crazycoolshit.com